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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

 

Celebrity Skin


Inspiration: all the celebrity blogs out there
Image: Victoria's Secret

Isn't the underwear Gisele is wearing in this picture nice? And doesn't it look like it would fit seamlessly with most outfits? Please, celebrities (and those of your ilk), go shopping this weekend. Or else, learn the proper way to sit when wearing a dress or skirt.

I am sure you have all seen the recent stream of images of Lindsay Lohan missing key undergarments. She has an aversion not only to bras, but also to panties. Even a thong is too much for her sometimes. Of course, Lindsay is not the first young celebrity to become notorious for this reason. Paris Hilton had her first 'exiting a car with legs wide open and no underwear' mishap a couple of years ago. Frankly, I am surprised that Lindsay was more thoroughly waxed than Paris. But that is neither here, nor there.

All of this talk about celebrities and their (lack of) underwear has made me wonder how common this problem actually is. Is it just a matter of "running out" before laundry day, or is it a lifestyle choice? We know when celebrities leave their underwear in the hamper because the stalkerazzi are there to capture the right moment when they are ascending stairs or awkwardly exiting a car. But there were no paparazzi or 'photojournalists' at my school and none now in my office (usually), so I wonder how many money shots are being missed. Was the girl who anxiously pulled down her skirt before sitting down at a meeting worried about more than a flash of a Victoria's Secret low-rise boyshort? Was the guy who tried to grind me at a club actually "freeballing"? I need to take comfort in the thought that there are four layers of fabric separating my business from that of some horny clubgoer. Without that buffer zone, I don't know what to do. Perhaps I should start wearing an extra pair of underwear to make up the difference. Just another excuse to go shopping this weekend.

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