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Monday, September 18, 2006


Holland Park, Holland Park! (London, Day 1)

Inspiration: Absolutely Fabulous
Images: Style.com as always

The fall fashion whirlwind continues this week in London, where Pete Doherty still roams free despite multiple drug convictions and where the models are still sickly, despite the forlorn complaints of Culture Minister Tessa Jowell. Indeed, the models at London Fashion Week are often the most unattractive, due to their deathly pallor and the both drab and tacky designs they must wear. There's a reason why AbFab did NY instead of London Fashion Week in Series 4. The top row has pictures from the Noir, Danielle Scutt, and Richard Nicoll shows from today, while the bottom row has pictures from Noir and other worthless shows from last season.

As you can see, there is a distinct pattern of ugliness. If you haven't gone blind yet from looking at these hideous models, then see how much better high fashion looks on a real woman:

Though London has failed to diversify its catwalks, the thin mayor of Milan, Letizia Moratti, still has a week to convince other thin Italians to see things her way. I find it unlikely, however, that Milan will make any changes to its model lineup either. I doubt that anyone could tell Donatella Versace which models she can and cannot use. Could you imagine this conversation?

Versace (fumante): Letizia. Che sorpresa. Perché sei a qui?
Moratti: Voglio dirti che a causa delle tue modelle, le oltre ragazze non vogliano mangiare più, vogliano vomitare e usare le droghe!
Versace (bevendo): Si, sarano bellissima, come mia figlia. Grazie, cara!
Moratti: Donatella, non--
Versace: Ciao, Letizia! Devo andare al bagno ora. Ci vediamo alla mia sfilata!

Clearly, Moratti will not win over Donatella. But at least Milan's boney models will have fabulous clothes to wear.

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