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Friday, September 29, 2006

 

The Dating Game pt. 1

Inspiration: red light/green light
Images: thebosh.com and google images

In case any of you were wondering which celebrities would be 'available' if you hit on them in a bar, here is an update on the latest celebrity breakups and hookups.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker - Green light

They are either over or in serious trouble, so go for it! This was a real relationship, so get them now, while they are vulnerable.

Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth - Green light
Kate is casually dating James Rousseau. Orlando just started seeing Penelope Cruz. However, both new 'relationships,' if we can call them that, are in neo-natal stages. The Bloom and Cruz thing is so new that there aren't even any decent pictures of them together yet, so if you break them up now, they won't be able to remember that they were ever together.

Lindsay Lohan and Harry Morton - Yellow light

Though everyone said Harry dumped Lindsay at the Marmont last week, they were seen having lunch together at the Ivy yesterday and may be trying to work something out. Lindsay had a rebound fling with Stavros Niarchos - one of the guys in Paris Hilton's harem of Greek shipping heirs - but that fling was solely a result of Lindsay wanting to seem less lonely and unwanted and Stavros just being a slut. Some people think the entire relationship between Linds and Harry was also publicity stunt, so even if they are both single, I would be wary of approaching either of them, unless you are also willing to date the paparazzi following you on your dates.

Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson - Yellow light
Though they seemed to have the perfect relationship with perfect cute shared dogs, Seth and Summer Adam and Rachel have been having some trouble lately because of the mysterious charms of Zach Braff. Not particularly good-looking, Braff must lure girls like Mandy Moore and with his personality. Whatever. I wouldn't fall for it. Plus, Adam Brody's personality is just fine. And he has a band! They aren't great, but they are better than the other celeb-fronted groups like Jared Leto's 30s to Mars. Anyway, now that publicity for 'The Last Kiss' is winding down, maybe Rachel won't see Zach as often. Who knows. In any case, if you see Adam at a bar, be nice to him -- he might appreciate the attention.

Paris Hilton and Travis Barker - Yellow light

Look at Paris, so stealthy with her disguises! So Travis is divorcing his skanky wife Shanna, and Paris has been there to 'comfort' him. This hookup is just convenient, it's not a relationship. If you aren't afraid of catching whatever STDs these two may or may not have, then good luck to you.

Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner - Reddish yellow light

Nicole and Brody have been friends since they were 2 years old, sort of like how Nicole and Paris had been friends since they were 2 years old. Hopefully this works out better for Nicole and Brody than it did for her and Paris. In any case, I don't think Nicole and Brody's relationship is that stable, since they are both still on DJ AM and Kristin Cavallari rebounds. However, I think this relationship is less susceptible to third-party interventions than others, unless the third-party is AM or KC wanting to get back together.

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson - Red light

Kate is finally divorcing her hideous and untalented husband, and we have Owen Wilson to thank for it. Kate and Owen's relationship must be fairly serious if she is going to leave the father of her children to be with him. So I wouldn't get mixed up in this one. Though I think
Owen is a little slutty, Kate has those kids now - baggage, ugh.






Kate Moss and Pete Doherty - Red light

These two on-again-off-again lovers are definitely on again right now. Pete is fresh out of rehab and looking to score -- syringes, though I'm sure he likes scoring with Kate too. I'm sure he carries a syringe filled with her blood with him at all times, sort of like how AJ and Billy Bob used to have those necklaces. So yeah, no matter how easy they appear to be, don't get mixed up with either Kate or Pete (unless you need to find some discount drugs).

 

Milan Day 3 - Gucci

Inspiration: not Tom Ford
Images: style.com

I'm on vacation, so I am running a bit behind on my Milan Fashion Week updates -- my sincerest apologies. But in this useless time between lunch and happy hour, I will endeavor to catch you all up on Milan Day 3.

First up is Gucci.

Clearly 60s retro is the big theme for next spring, because this has been like the 5th show I've reviewed that has had major mod influences. I really loved the colors in this show. The first half of the show was especially strong, with basic blacks and whites trimmed in bold purples and rich reds and oranges.

The second half focused more on prints, logo prints in particular, which I find distasteful. Gucci also jumped on the annoying 'voluminous shirts with no pants' bandwagon and promoted those ubiquitous babydoll dresses that are unfortunately still in. There were also a few missteps in the evening wear department, with oddly tapered dresses and unflattering flounces of ruffles.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

 

Milan Day 2 - Moschino and Etro

Inspiration: retro modern
Images: style.com

Moschino wasn't boring, but it faltered more often than not. The retro-styling was interesting, but the proportions and colors did not really work. Caroline Winberg's silver hair was not so hot either.

Even more known for excess is Etro, but they reigned it in a bit this season. Another retro-styled show, Etro had bold prints, leggings, and variations on tie-dye. Fortunately, the proportions were generally more flattering than what we saw from Moschino.

 

Milan Day 2 - Bottega Veneta and Marni

Inspiration: classic vs quirky
Images: style.com

Bottega Veneta, known for its simple, but luxurious woven leather bags, has taken a equally simple approach to its clothing line. This season, Bottega, led by Tomas Maier, has followed the trend of using solid, muted colors. The collection was fairly safe, with a few cute pieces, but a few misses too.

More daring than Bottega, but not in a good way, was Marni. Consuelo Castiglioni's line tries to embody a young quirky style, but I hate leggings, trash bag fabric, and ill-fitting clothes, so if this is young and quirky, I would rather be old and staid.

 

What Would Rachael Do?



Inspiration: Rachael Ray 2nd most trusted celebrity
Images: rayray and her husband. he trusts her a lot

Clearly I am not alone in my unadulterated admiration for Rachael Ray. Forbes is reporting that Rachael is second only to Tom Hanks as America's most trusted celebrity. The list is as follows:

Tom Hanks
Rachael Ray
Michael J. Fox
Oprah
James Earl Jones
Denzel Washington
Ty Pennington
Ron Howard
Morgan Freeman
Reese Witherspoon

That's right, America trusts RayRay more than Oprah -- probably because she is not a billionaire yet or a liar. Anyway, this is one of the most accurate celebrity lists that I have seen, aside from the quantitatively provable 'richest' lists. The 'sexiest' lists usually lose me when they include people like Carmen Electra, Jenny McCarthy, Denis Leary, and Keith Urban.

However, this 'most trusted' list is pretty accurate, except for Reese Witherspoon, who I'm sure would talk shit about you behind your back and gloat that her husband is hotter than yours.

Despite Reese's potentially duplicitous personality, the trust people have in her is not surprising because we clearly trust talented actors more than untalented actors -- though I still think Felicity Huffman should have won the Oscar last year. As represented by Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington, most of the actors on this list are Oscar winners, some having won multiple times.

The list has also confirmed a long-held belief my friends and I have had that older black men are generally more trustworthy than any other group of people. Dennis Haysbert should take Reese's spot on the list. Even repressed white women trust him. You're in good hands with Allstate.

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